1. Feel good about knowing to ride a bicycle sans training wheels (even though you’re a 25 year old bipedal male)
2. See a kid approaching you on a unicycle – TEXTING
3. Read #2 again
4. Think, “I can’t even ride one of those wicked little gadgets.”
5. Confess that the one time you tried texting while riding your bike things started getting really squirrely, really fast.
6. Realize that a picture would’ve been cool
7. Recall the painful memory that earlier in the week your camera was go-karted over repeatedly because you thought “the camera shouldn’t fall out of the go-kart – I won’t put it in my pocket which is literally only an arm’s length away, I’ll just set it on the seat which is going to vibrate, shake, and bounce furiously as I maneuver around tight curves swatting bugs flying into my eyes”.
8. Think about the fact that even if your hand hadn’t been too lazy to make the long trek transporting a 1lbs camera into your pocket, you probably would’ve fallen off your bike snapping the moment, or driven into something very hard that would surely stop you much quicker than is possible for mere mortals to find pleasant.
9. Remember your first ‘real married life’ day back at work, how you fell biking around the very first corner after exiting your driveway.
10. Fondly reminisce about the guy driving a snowblower behind you who surely saw it all as you quickly scraped your body off the asphalt as he thought to himself, “Aha, we have a brand new Village Idiot”.
Well, you all have a fabulous weekend. I think my experience calls for a relaxing evening – after I finish the painting I’ve been working on while hula-hooping.